In my first real live graduate class the other night a girl I know, who was sitting next to me, was discussing the BIG name change that all new brides have to go through. She talked about how she was changing her name and having problems with the university having everything under the same last name and was complaining because she wanted to drop her maiden name and said:
"I am just not one of those girls who can't let go of her last name and I just wish everything would just say my new name."
Okay so call me crazy but I am that girl. I held onto my maiden name for dear life and still use it constantly. I was born with my maiden name, I graduated college with my maiden name, I am my maiden name and I am proud of my name and where I came from. I feel like I achieved something in my family, and when someone sees that I graduated college{or whatever else} I want them to see that I did it as my birth name, because that is who I am. Sorry to say but I don't owe anything to the Babb name, I don't know them, and I probably will never know many of them. Why should I make my achievements in a name that means nothing to me.
I have had several people ask "oh are you related so so-an-so Babb?" And every time I reply "No I am not, I am related to {insert maiden name}!" This is not me trying to disrespect my husband by any means, I love him but I want people to say oh that is {insert maiden name}'s daughter. Not "Oh, are you related to so-an-so Babb?"
Call me crazy, but I am that girl who clings to her birth name for dear life because frankly...it is who I am. Honestly, when I see girls who are so happy and willing to drop their name like it never existed it makes me sick. Don't be your husband, be you. Yes, in my classroom the kids call me by my new name, but it was very tempting to hyphenate that sucker and make them call me both. Because dang it...I got this degree, not someone else! Disagree is you choose, I know most probably will, but let me know what you think.
As a side note, I am thinking about going to some fake name on here. I had a student's parent try to add me on Facebook and frankly I don't think it is their business what I do or say on here or Facebook. That is just to personal for me, this blog is just to personal for someone who I only know exist through my job to read. Any ideas for a new name?
lol YOU GO GIRL...ROCK ON!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm w/ you student's parents googling could not be good. Google yourself and see how easy it is to find your blog!
How about something that plays on Emmy which your parents call you? Like Emmy Lee or Emmy Cate? IDK, but I do agree on not wanting the parents to find you. At another school, the office (?) gave parents my cell #. Nothing personal, but hello???
ReplyDeleteThe name is nothing more than an identifier. Do you identify with your husband? Have the two truly become one? No, the name does not prove this change. It does draw attention to it.
ReplyDeleteBTW, you are NOT your name. The name simply identifies you. Who you are is much greater than your name could ever describe.;)
i never had a problem with changing my name. i love my parents and am very proud of where i came from, but it might be different for me since mine was changed once my dad (stepdad) adopted me and sarah. i remember being proud when i became a craft because it symbolized that i then "belonged" to my dad (whom i love very much) instead of my father. and in the same way i feel extremely proud that my last name now connects me to my husband, and that in more ways than one we "belong" together. i guess i'm not much of a feminist, but very much an old-fashioned romantic in that sense =)
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I don't understand why any woman cares if another doesn't change their name, or DOES change their name. There are lots of women who no longer want to identify with their parents, and that's cool if that's their gig. Some always want to identify with their parents, that's cool too. Everyone has their own reasons for what they do. Saying it makes you sick when women are eager to change their name, isn't that a little harsh?
ReplyDeleteOk so as for the name change. I know we have had this convo before. I didnt have a problem taking his last name..but I didnt just get rid of mine. Which pissed him off to no end. Thats just how I wanted it done though. Its a personal choice.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think you should use Babin as your last name for your new identity...ha ha According to Brittany thats your last name anyway